We’ve all been there-an amazing first date filled with laughter, connection, and maybe even a spark of something special. But then, days pass without a call or text from him. The disappointment sets in, and you start to replay the date in your head, trying to figure out what went wrong.
But here’s a harsh truth: sometimes, he may have decided within the first few moments that you weren’t the one for him.
The Importance of First Impressions
First impressions are incredibly powerful. Research from Princeton psychologists Alexander Todorov and Janine Willis reveals that we form opinions in just a tenth of a second. Imagine how much can be determined in those initial moments of a first date! This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but it does emphasize the importance of how you present yourself right from the start.
Think back to your own experiences. Have you ever met someone and instantly felt uncomfortable due to their body language, tone of voice, or the way they interacted with you? Perhaps it was a limp handshake, nervous glances, or a scowl that made you feel uneasy. These subtle cues can set the tone for the entire interaction.
The Magic Formula: Make It All About Him
The good news is that there’s a simple way to make a great impression and increase the chances of a second date: make the date all about him. This doesn’t mean losing yourself or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about shifting your focus and creating a positive, engaging experience for both of you.
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Step 1: Bring Your Enthusiasm and Warmth
From the very start, act like you’re genuinely excited to meet him—even if you’re not sure how you feel yet. When you first see him, greet him with a warm smile and perhaps a friendly hug if it feels natural. Compliment him sincerely—maybe on something he’s wearing or his choice of venue. Let your body language, facial expressions, and energy communicate, “I’m happy to be here, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you.”
For example, if he’s chosen a unique or cozy spot for the date, you might say, “I love this place! You have great taste in picking spots to hang out.” This not only shows appreciation but also sets a positive tone for the rest of the date.
Step 2: Be Attentive, Listen, and Give Positive Feedback
During the date, make an effort to be genuinely interested in what he has to say. Ask open-ended questions about his interests, experiences, and opinions. Listen actively and offer affirmations like nodding, smiling, or saying, “That’s really interesting!”
For example, if he’s sharing a story about a recent trip he took, you could say, “That sounds amazing! I’d love to hear more about what you did there.” This shows that you’re engaged and interested in his experiences.
If there’s something you genuinely like about him—whether it’s his sense of humor, his passion for a hobby, or the way he speaks about his work—let him know. A simple, “I really admire your enthusiasm for what you do,” can go a long way in making him feel appreciated and understood.
Read Also: 15 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore with Real Life Examples
Why This Works
When you make the date about him, you’re doing more than just being polite. You’re creating a space where he feels comfortable, valued, and more likely to open up. This encourages authentic connection and makes the experience enjoyable for both of you.
Men, like anyone else, are drawn to people who make them feel good about themselves. When you focus on making him feel seen and appreciated, he’s more likely to want to spend more time with you.
A Shift in Perspective
This approach also benefits you. By focusing on him, you’re less likely to feel self-conscious or worry about making a perfect impression. Instead, you’re engaged in the moment, creating a genuine connection, and enjoying the date for what it is—a chance to get to know someone new.
So the next time you’re on a first date, remember to make it all about him. Bring your warmth, enthusiasm, and curiosity. Listen actively, give positive feedback, and watch as the dynamic shifts. You might just find yourself getting asked out again and again.
And if you try this approach, I’d love to hear how it goes! Dating doesn’t have to be nerve-wracking; with the right mindset, it can be a fun and rewarding experience.