Dating can be a minefield, even for the most confident and successful individuals. With just one opportunity to make a strong first impression, even a small misstep can derail what could have been a great connection. As a matchmaker since 2009, I've seen it all-both the good and the bad. So, let's dive into the 15 most common dating mistakes that can sabotage your chances of finding love, and how to avoid them.
1. Don't Be Late
Punctuality is the first test of consideration. Showing up late, even with a valid reason, can make your date feel undervalued. Plan ahead by checking the route, parking situation, and anything else that could delay you. If you're running behind, a quick text before your scheduled time goes a long way in showing respect for your date's time.
Example: If the restaurant is known for slow service, aim to arrive 10 minutes early, allowing time to settle in and start the date without stress.
2. Don't Start with a Handshake
This isn’t a business meeting—it’s a date. Ditch the formalities and go for a warm hug or a friendly cheek kiss if that’s appropriate in your culture. Your greeting sets the tone for the date, so be enthusiastic and open.
Example: When meeting, smile genuinely and say something positive like, “I’m so excited to finally meet you!”
3. Don’t Glance at Your Phone
Constantly checking your phone can make your date feel like they’re not a priority. Turn your phone off or leave it in your bag or car to resist the temptation. Your undivided attention is one of the greatest gifts you can offer.
Example: If you’re expecting an important call, mention it at the beginning of the date, but assure them that you’ll keep it brief.
4. Don’t Discuss Past Relationships
Bringing up an ex is a surefire way to kill the mood. Your date could interpret this as a sign that you’re not over your past relationship. Focus on getting to know each other without the baggage of past experiences.
Example: If your date asks about your ex, steer the conversation back by saying, “I’d love to tell you more about myself now and share those stories later.”
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5. Don’t Be Negative
Negativity is contagious, and it can make your date want to run for the hills. Avoid complaining about your job, family, or life. Instead, focus on positive aspects and keep the conversation light.
Example: Instead of saying, “Work has been so stressful,” try, “I’m working on some exciting projects at work!”
6. Don’t Drink Too Much
It’s easy to let nerves get the best of you and reach for that extra glass of wine, but overindulging can lead to regrettable behavior. Keep it to two drinks max, and remember to hydrate with water throughout the evening.
Example: If the date’s going well and you’re tempted for another drink, suggest switching to a non-alcoholic option like a mocktail.
7. Don’t Be Rude to Staff
How you treat others speaks volumes about your character. Being rude to the waitstaff or anyone else during the date can make your date think twice about your personality. Kindness always makes a lasting impression.
Example: If the service is slow, say something like, “They must be really busy tonight, let’s just enjoy our time together.”
8. Don’t Overshare About Dating Struggles
It’s easy to fall into the trap of venting about your frustrations with dating, but this can make your date feel like just another number. Keep the focus on the present moment and the person in front of you.
Example: Instead of lamenting past bad dates, say something like, “I’m excited to see where this night goes.”
9. Don’t Overanalyze Chemistry
Chemistry isn’t always instant, and that’s okay. Don’t stress about whether this person is “the one” during your first meeting. Enjoy the date for what it is and give it time to develop naturally.
Example: Instead of thinking, “Do I feel a spark?” focus on questions like, “What can I learn about this person?”
10. Don’t Do All the Talking
Balance is key in any conversation. Share about yourself, but also be genuinely curious about your date. Listen actively and ask follow-up questions to show you’re engaged and interested.
Example: If your date mentions a hobby, ask, “What got you into that? I’d love to hear more.”
11. Don’t Treat the Date Like an Interview
You’re there to enjoy yourself, not to check off a list of qualifications. Relax and let the conversation flow naturally without the pressure of evaluating long-term compatibility.
Example: Instead of asking, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” try, “What’s something fun you’re looking forward to?”
Read Also: Mastering the Art of Virtual Dating: 12 Tips for a Winning Video Date
12. Don’t Forget to Express Gratitude
Small gestures of appreciation can make a big impact. If your date goes out of their way—whether it’s paying for the meal or planning the evening—make sure to thank them sincerely.
Example: As the date ends, say, “I had such a great time tonight, thank you for making it special.”
13. Don’t Interrupt
Cutting someone off mid-sentence can come across as dismissive or self-centered. Practice patience and wait for your turn to speak, showing that you value what they have to say.
Example: If you catch yourself about to interrupt, pause and nod to encourage them to continue.
14. Don’t Be Too Eager to Plan the Next Date
While it’s great to express interest, don’t jump the gun by planning the next three dates before the current one is over. Let things unfold naturally and gauge your date’s interest as well.
Example: Instead of saying, “We should go to that new restaurant next week,” try, “I’d love to see you again-what do you think?”
15. Don’t Forget to Follow Up
After a great date, following up with a text or call is essential. It shows that you enjoyed the time spent together and are interested in continuing the connection.
Example: The day after the date, send a text saying, “I really enjoyed last night-would love to do it again sometime soon.”
If you've been making any of these common dating mistakes, don’t worry-awareness is the first step to change. Apply these tips, and you’ll not only have more successful dates but also a lot more fun along the way! Let's read your comment, share your thought(s) or experience with us.